SD Dojavi
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Neki će reći da patim od opsesivno-kompulzivnog poremećaja, ali ja, kao i svi pacijenti, živim u poricanju: nisam bolestan, samo sam uredan.

Kad otključam vrata stana, ne koračam ravno do dnevnog boravka kao glumci u američkim filmovima, koji za sobom propuštaju cijelu snimateljsku ekipu, nego ih odmah zatvaram. Poslije čitanja, sklapam knjigu, kad završi film, gasim televizor, nakon što iz lonca izvadim nekoliko kacjola pašta fažola, poklopim ga, zatvaram ladice, ormare, škrinje, frižidere, pećnice, prozore, kutije... Naravno, i boce. Njih prije svega.

Tko je u mome stanu vidio odčepljeni spremnik za tekućinu u svim mogućim formatima, od unučića do demejane, neka me demantira, ali taj se nije rodio. Iako je nekima moja urednost bolesna, meni se čini da je ona savršeno normalna i da su ljudi poput mene većina. Da nisu, naš bi svijet propao. Ili bi barem izvjetrio.

Očekivano, bizarna EU-uredba kojom se od svih proizvođača plastičnih boca nalaže da koriste čepove koji se neće moći u cijelosti odvrnuti, nego će morati trajno ostati jednom čvrstom niti vezani uz matični spremnik, prilično me je iznervirala.

Nije mi drago kad mi ni krivom ni dužnom a priori i s visoka dociraju. Ova uredba polazi, naime, od pretpostavke da su ljudi šlampavi injoranti i nepopravljivi šporkačuni kojima ne pada pamet poslije konzumacije začepiti bocu. Kako je ona oveća i lako primjetna, na koncu ipak ima lijepe šanse završiti u primjerenom kontejneru odnosno pogonu za reciklažu, za razliku od malešnog čepića koji se lako izgubi, i tako svakoga dana do podne njih četrnaest ili petnaest milijardi.

Ta procjena zacijelo se temelji na nekom nevjerodostojnom, ali zato potpuno suvišnom istraživanju koje je masno plaćeno. Masno je plaćen i patent da bi čep, ma koliko god ga odvrtali, uvijek ostao jednom žilavom niti vezan uz bocu.

A netko će jednoga dana, vjerojatno već dogodine, uprihoditi lijep novac da bi istraživanjem oslonjenim na sumnjive premise potvrdio kako je ova uredba donijela blistave ekološke benefite.

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image

Ova uredba polazi od pretpostavke da su ljudi šlampavi injoranti i nepopravljivi šporkačuni kojima ne pada pamet poslije konzumacije začepiti bocu

Nikša Stipaničev/Cropix
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Svi će biti veseli i zadovoljni, osim nas urednih koje se neutemeljeno sumnjiči da patimo od opsesivno-kompulzivnog poremećaja. Svaki put kad opazimo plastični končić koji čep pretvara u naušnicu, mi ćemo se žderati od muke. A onda ćemo, kad krenemo točiti piće, izdašno ga prolijevati po stolu, jer dotična rečina zna otklizati ispod mlaza i preusmjeriti ga podalje od čaše. To i nije naročiti problem kad se toči voda, ali može biti neugodno kad si čovjek servira neko obojeno piće koje za sobom ostavlja mrlje. Naš će planet postati idilično zelen, ali će zato naši stolnjaci sličiti platnima Jacksona Pollocka, uglednog slikara koji je brendirao mače kao visoku umjetnost.

Najviše od svega živcirat će me činjenica da su u projekt moga živciranja upregnute tisuće ljudi i cijeli industrijski pogoni, da je netko negdje u dalekome, sivom Bruxellesu izgradio veličanstvenu karijeru i postao velika čunka jer se dosjetio čepu pridružiti uzicu. Što je sljedeće? Brnjica?

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Tko je u mome stanu vidio odčepljeni spremnik za tekućinu u svim mogućim formatima, od unučića do demejane, neka me demantira, ali taj se nije rodio

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Tko je u mome stanu vidio odčepljeni spremnik za tekućinu u svim mogućim formatima, od unučića do demejane, neka me demantira, ali taj se nije rodio

 ) [1] => stdClass Object ( [src] => https://static.slobodnadalmacija.hr/images/slike/2023/06/20/1521121.jpg [title] => Nikša Stipaničev/Cropix

Ova uredba polazi od pretpostavke da su ljudi šlampavi injoranti i nepopravljivi šporkačuni kojima ne pada pamet poslije konzumacije začepiti bocu

 ) ) [bgPosition] => [videoType] => allvideos [text] => {OCMSplitter}

Neki će reći da patim od opsesivno-kompulzivnog poremećaja, ali ja, kao i svi pacijenti, živim u poricanju: nisam bolestan, samo sam uredan.

Kad otključam vrata stana, ne koračam ravno do dnevnog boravka kao glumci u američkim filmovima, koji za sobom propuštaju cijelu snimateljsku ekipu, nego ih odmah zatvaram. Poslije čitanja, sklapam knjigu, kad završi film, gasim televizor, nakon što iz lonca izvadim nekoliko kacjola pašta fažola, poklopim ga, zatvaram ladice, ormare, škrinje, frižidere, pećnice, prozore, kutije... Naravno, i boce. Njih prije svega.

Tko je u mome stanu vidio odčepljeni spremnik za tekućinu u svim mogućim formatima, od unučića do demejane, neka me demantira, ali taj se nije rodio. Iako je nekima moja urednost bolesna, meni se čini da je ona savršeno normalna i da su ljudi poput mene većina. Da nisu, naš bi svijet propao. Ili bi barem izvjetrio.

Očekivano, bizarna EU-uredba kojom se od svih proizvođača plastičnih boca nalaže da koriste čepove koji se neće moći u cijelosti odvrnuti, nego će morati trajno ostati jednom čvrstom niti vezani uz matični spremnik, prilično me je iznervirala.

Nije mi drago kad mi ni krivom ni dužnom a priori i s visoka dociraju. Ova uredba polazi, naime, od pretpostavke da su ljudi šlampavi injoranti i nepopravljivi šporkačuni kojima ne pada pamet poslije konzumacije začepiti bocu. Kako je ona oveća i lako primjetna, na koncu ipak ima lijepe šanse završiti u primjerenom kontejneru odnosno pogonu za reciklažu, za razliku od malešnog čepića koji se lako izgubi, i tako svakoga dana do podne njih četrnaest ili petnaest milijardi.

Ta procjena zacijelo se temelji na nekom nevjerodostojnom, ali zato potpuno suvišnom istraživanju koje je masno plaćeno. Masno je plaćen i patent da bi čep, ma koliko god ga odvrtali, uvijek ostao jednom žilavom niti vezan uz bocu.

A netko će jednoga dana, vjerojatno već dogodine, uprihoditi lijep novac da bi istraživanjem oslonjenim na sumnjive premise potvrdio kako je ova uredba donijela blistave ekološke benefite.

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image

Ova uredba polazi od pretpostavke da su ljudi šlampavi injoranti i nepopravljivi šporkačuni kojima ne pada pamet poslije konzumacije začepiti bocu

Nikša Stipaničev/Cropix
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Svi će biti veseli i zadovoljni, osim nas urednih koje se neutemeljeno sumnjiči da patimo od opsesivno-kompulzivnog poremećaja. Svaki put kad opazimo plastični končić koji čep pretvara u naušnicu, mi ćemo se žderati od muke. A onda ćemo, kad krenemo točiti piće, izdašno ga prolijevati po stolu, jer dotična rečina zna otklizati ispod mlaza i preusmjeriti ga podalje od čaše. To i nije naročiti problem kad se toči voda, ali može biti neugodno kad si čovjek servira neko obojeno piće koje za sobom ostavlja mrlje. Naš će planet postati idilično zelen, ali će zato naši stolnjaci sličiti platnima Jacksona Pollocka, uglednog slikara koji je brendirao mače kao visoku umjetnost.

Najviše od svega živcirat će me činjenica da su u projekt moga živciranja upregnute tisuće ljudi i cijeli industrijski pogoni, da je netko negdje u dalekome, sivom Bruxellesu izgradio veličanstvenu karijeru i postao velika čunka jer se dosjetio čepu pridružiti uzicu. Što je sljedeće? Brnjica?

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Darko Tomaš/Cropix Nikša Stipaničev/Cropix
Darko Tomaš/Cropix

Tko je u mome stanu vidio odčepljeni spremnik za tekućinu u svim mogućim formatima, od unučića do demejane, neka me demantira, ali taj se nije rodio
Nikša Stipaničev/Cropix

Ova uredba polazi od pretpostavke da su ljudi šlampavi injoranti i nepopravljivi šporkačuni kojima ne pada pamet poslije konzumacije začepiti bocu
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StoryEditorOCM
HrvatskaGLUP, GLUPLJI, ČEP

Ivica Ivanišević: Ova ideja o čepovima plastičnih boca koji se ne mogu do kraja odvrnuti meni je potpuno blesava

Piše Ivica Ivanišević
20. lipnja 2023. - 13:34
&lt;p&gt;Tko je u mome stanu vidio odčepljeni spremnik za tekućinu u svim mogućim formatima, od unučića do demejane, neka me demantira, ali taj se nije rodio&lt;/p&gt;
PREMIUM
Tko je u mome stanu vidio odčepljeni spremnik za tekućinu u svim mogućim formatima, od unučića do demejane, neka me demantira, ali taj se nije rodioDarko Tomaš/Cropix

Neki će reći da patim od opsesivno-kompulzivnog poremećaja, ali ja, kao i svi pacijenti, živim u poricanju: nisam bolestan, samo sam uredan.

Kad otključam vrata stana, ne koračam ravno do dnevnog boravka kao glumci u američkim filmovima, koji za sobom propuštaju cijelu snimateljsku ekipu, nego ih odmah zatvaram. Poslije čitanja, sklapam knjigu, kad završi film, gasim televizor, nakon što iz lonca izvadim nekoliko kacjola pašta fažola, poklopim ga, zatvaram ladice, ormare, škrinje, frižidere, pećnice, prozore, kutije... Naravno, i boce. Njih prije svega.

Tko je u mome stanu vidio odčepljeni spremnik za tekućinu u svim mogućim formatima, od unučića do demejane, neka me demantira, ali taj se nije rodio. Iako je nekima moja urednost bolesna, meni se čini da je ona...

#PLASTIČNE BOCE#EKOLOGIJA#JACKSON POLLOCK#ČEPOVI
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10. svibanj 2024 18:25