SD Dojavi
OSMRTNICE
PRETPLATA
PREMIUM
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U ono dva-tri puta godišnje šta bi svratija u našu Banovinu, poslin rađe obavezno bi povirija u RaSt – ko još ne zna, to je splitska agencija za čučanje evropskih fondova koji su nan počeli teć tak kad se osnovala ova mala agencija s pet-šest zaposlenih.

Draga, mlada ekipa sedila je uz južnu portu i to mi je bija najdraži ured u onu dosadnu Banovinu. Sve u bojama, puno svitla, lipi plakati i slike, netipično, pravo misto di bi doveja nekoga partnera iz svita kojeg oćeš osvojit da sklopite koji posal. A meni drago za popit kavu iz karte.

Ne možeš biznismena ili one šta držu EU kesu sest za one naše kancelarijske stole od prije šezdeset godina, s registratorima iza gujce i ostrganin parketon na podu.

E baš u ti mali, zgodni prostor, nakanila se gradska uprava uselit jedno revolucionarno komunikacijsko otkriće našega doba – call centar. A to oće reć da će onde utirat pet-šest stoli, katrige i telefone, pa primistit nekoliko djelatnika iz druge službe da se javljaju na telefone a di bi tribali zvat građani.

Navodno će se operativac javljat na slušalicu – alo, alo – a građanin će postavit pitanje, oni će zapisat na kartu, onda će operater call centra nazvat službu koju već triba, a kad dobije odgovor, javit će građanima. Sve lipo zamišljeno.

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image
Davor Pongračić/Ilustracija/Cropix
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A šta će građani zvat? Šta imaju zvat? I koji će odgovor dobit kojega dosad nisu mogli dobit? Pretpostavimo, najveća će gužva bit za upite urbanističkoj službi; teže ti je dobit građevinsku dozvolu u Split nego u Monako. I dosad si moga nazivat – aloalo – a moga si i doć, šta se u nas reče osobno, i tamo bi ti rekli: u procesu je. Pa tako sto puti.

U procesu je, čekaj!

E sad ćeš ti to isto pitanje postavit operativcu u call centru, a on će pitat onoga gori u urbanizam, a on će mu reć: “Čekaj da nađem, koja čestica si reka? Kako ono ime, bezime i OIB? Aha, evo ga. Reci mu da je u procesu!”

A šta gradonačelnik Puljak očekuje, da će građaninu priko čarobne slušalice reć: “Aaa, dobro da ste zvali, sad ćemo požurit, dozvola će vas čekat za tri dana, samo imate potpisat. Evo iz ovih stopa počinjemo pisat...” Ma uvik će reć: “U procesu je, čekaj.”

S druge strane, moga bi se kladit da će baren sedandeset posto građana zvat radi škovaca bačenih oko kuća na Špinutu, nepropisno parkiranih auti na Blatine, buke iz kafića, razbijene šentade... I šta će mu onda oni operater odgovorit: “Nismo mi za ta pitanja. Zovite komunalce ili škovacine.”

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image
Duje Klarić/Cropix
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To je moga i prije. Ono šta si prije moga doznat od referenta, sad ćeš doznat opet od referenta, al’ će ti javit operater s centrale šte je referent reka.

Prije četiri godine Banovina je otvorila aplikaciju “Gradsko oko”, na čiji su e-mail građani mogli slat slike i prigovore, upozorenja i molbe oko komunalnih problema. Taj je e-mail bar bija nešto bliže suvremenome dobu, a mi smo sad s konja pali na tovara pa umisto interneta dobili telefonsku žicu.

Kako će komunicirat iduća vlast? Telefakson? Telegramon? Kuririma? Galebon pismonošon? Dimnin signalima?

Od svega mi je najžalije šta više nema one šarene kancelarije uz južnu portu, naše mlade “europejce” špedilo je u jednu od sivih buža u Banovini u ime tehnološkog napretka. Alo, alo, di si?

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Banovina uvodi ‘revolucionarni‘ način komunikacije s građanima, grabimo hrabrim korakom unazad... 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U ono dva-tri puta godišnje šta bi svratija u našu Banovinu, poslin rađe obavezno bi povirija u RaSt – ko još ne zna, to je splitska agencija za čučanje evropskih fondova koji su nan počeli teć tak kad se osnovala ova mala agencija s pet-šest zaposlenih.

Draga, mlada ekipa sedila je uz južnu portu i to mi je bija najdraži ured u onu dosadnu Banovinu. Sve u bojama, puno svitla, lipi plakati i slike, netipično, pravo misto di bi doveja nekoga partnera iz svita kojeg oćeš osvojit da sklopite koji posal. A meni drago za popit kavu iz karte.

Ne možeš biznismena ili one šta držu EU kesu sest za one naše kancelarijske stole od prije šezdeset godina, s registratorima iza gujce i ostrganin parketon na podu.

E baš u ti mali, zgodni prostor, nakanila se gradska uprava uselit jedno revolucionarno komunikacijsko otkriće našega doba – call centar. A to oće reć da će onde utirat pet-šest stoli, katrige i telefone, pa primistit nekoliko djelatnika iz druge službe da se javljaju na telefone a di bi tribali zvat građani.

Navodno će se operativac javljat na slušalicu – alo, alo – a građanin će postavit pitanje, oni će zapisat na kartu, onda će operater call centra nazvat službu koju već triba, a kad dobije odgovor, javit će građanima. Sve lipo zamišljeno.

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image
Davor Pongračić/Ilustracija/Cropix
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A šta će građani zvat? Šta imaju zvat? I koji će odgovor dobit kojega dosad nisu mogli dobit? Pretpostavimo, najveća će gužva bit za upite urbanističkoj službi; teže ti je dobit građevinsku dozvolu u Split nego u Monako. I dosad si moga nazivat – aloalo – a moga si i doć, šta se u nas reče osobno, i tamo bi ti rekli: u procesu je. Pa tako sto puti.

U procesu je, čekaj!

E sad ćeš ti to isto pitanje postavit operativcu u call centru, a on će pitat onoga gori u urbanizam, a on će mu reć: “Čekaj da nađem, koja čestica si reka? Kako ono ime, bezime i OIB? Aha, evo ga. Reci mu da je u procesu!”

A šta gradonačelnik Puljak očekuje, da će građaninu priko čarobne slušalice reć: “Aaa, dobro da ste zvali, sad ćemo požurit, dozvola će vas čekat za tri dana, samo imate potpisat. Evo iz ovih stopa počinjemo pisat...” Ma uvik će reć: “U procesu je, čekaj.”

S druge strane, moga bi se kladit da će baren sedandeset posto građana zvat radi škovaca bačenih oko kuća na Špinutu, nepropisno parkiranih auti na Blatine, buke iz kafića, razbijene šentade... I šta će mu onda oni operater odgovorit: “Nismo mi za ta pitanja. Zovite komunalce ili škovacine.”

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image
Duje Klarić/Cropix
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To je moga i prije. Ono šta si prije moga doznat od referenta, sad ćeš doznat opet od referenta, al’ će ti javit operater s centrale šte je referent reka.

Prije četiri godine Banovina je otvorila aplikaciju “Gradsko oko”, na čiji su e-mail građani mogli slat slike i prigovore, upozorenja i molbe oko komunalnih problema. Taj je e-mail bar bija nešto bliže suvremenome dobu, a mi smo sad s konja pali na tovara pa umisto interneta dobili telefonsku žicu.

Kako će komunicirat iduća vlast? Telefakson? Telegramon? Kuririma? Galebon pismonošon? Dimnin signalima?

Od svega mi je najžalije šta više nema one šarene kancelarije uz južnu portu, naše mlade “europejce” špedilo je u jednu od sivih buža u Banovini u ime tehnološkog napretka. Alo, alo, di si?

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StoryEditorOCM
SplitNa kantunu

S konja na tovara! Banovina uvodi ‘revolucionarni‘ način komunikacije s građanima, grabimo hrabrim korakom unazad...

Piše Damir Šarac
31. siječnja 2023. - 10:38
20557062
PREMIUM
Galerija
Vojko Bašić/Cropix

U ono dva-tri puta godišnje šta bi svratija u našu Banovinu, poslin rađe obavezno bi povirija u RaSt – ko još ne zna, to je splitska agencija za čučanje evropskih fondova koji su nan počeli teć tak kad se osnovala ova mala agencija s pet-šest zaposlenih.

Draga, mlada ekipa sedila je uz južnu portu i to mi je bija najdraži ured u onu dosadnu Banovinu. Sve u bojama, puno svitla, lipi plakati i slike, netipično, pravo misto di bi doveja nekoga partnera iz svita kojeg oćeš osvojit da sklopite koji posal. A meni drago za popit kavu iz karte.

Ne možeš biznismena ili one šta držu EU kesu sest za one naše kancelarijske stole od prije šezdeset godina, s registratorima iza gujce i ostrganin parketon na podu.

E baš u ti mali, zgodni prostor, nakanila se gradska uprava uselit...

#NA KANTUNU
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