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Da je turizam, u svojoj najogoljenijoj formi – lišenoj lažnih osmjeha, generičkih legendi o gostoprimstvu XY naroda te proljeva o prodavanju doživljaja – često prvi rođak prostog pljačkanja bogatijih prolaznika (kroz destinaciju), ništa ne dočarava bolje od splitskih taksista.

Tako sjede njih dvojica na kamperskim stolicama u hladu palme na Rivi i – poput mitskih sirena iz Odiseje – dozivaju zalutale putnike.

– Helo! Ju nid taksi? Taksi? No? Ajde, šetaj ti, rođo – su zvukovi koje proizvodi ovaj uslužni djelatnik dok biva aktivnom radnom snagom kojom nacija obara turističke rekorde.

Istovremeno, njegovo vozilo spremno priprema dobrodošlicu našim dragim gostima – stojeći u prekršaju. Naime, osim što nije smješten unutar mjesta za parkiranje, prednji dio srebrnog Volkswagen karavana je gotovo pola metra duboko u pješakom prijelazu pokraj glavne regionalne šetnice.

Iz nekog razloga – koji bi samo zagriženi ljubitelj krimi-literature mogao pravilno detektirati – "splitski" taksisti su gotovo uvijek iz Kaštela. Konkretno, vlasnik ovog na zebri, Miro K. iz Dalmatia Travela, je iz Novog. 

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image
Marin Prvan
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Pitamo dobro opušteni dvojac isplati li im se stvarno plaćati parking četiri eura po satu (ili 106 eura mjesečno), pošto nam njihova sjedeća aparatura s predumišljajem sugerira da dosta vremena provode "u leru".

– Vidi nas. Šta ti misliš je l‘ nan se isplati? – odgovaraju.

– Znači, lipo se diže, a? – kurjožasti smo.

– Prijo, sigurno neću tebi naplatit 20 eura vožnju do Bača pa da me još za to izbodeš nožen. Ako ti triba, pozvat ću ti Uber – objašnjava nam razgovorljiviji s početka teksta. 

– Oli je to tarifa za turiste? – čudimo se (kao).

– Tarifa? Koja tarifa? Tarife nema... Tarifa za njih je koliko ja kažen. Pa sad, oš-neš kume – pojašnjava nam ekvilibrijum ponude i potražnje ovaj prekaljeni poduzetnik.

Logika ovih hrvatskih turističkih djelatnika vam zvuči kao izvadak iz kodeksa neke dobro uigrane kriminalne organizacije? Očito ste gledali puno mafijaških filmova.

Pa postali ekspert po pitanju splitskih taksista.

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Da je turizam, u svojoj najogoljenijoj formi – lišenoj lažnih osmjeha, generičkih legendi o gostoprimstvu XY naroda te proljeva o prodavanju doživljaja – često prvi rođak prostog pljačkanja bogatijih prolaznika (kroz destinaciju), ništa ne dočarava bolje od splitskih taksista.

Tako sjede njih dvojica na kamperskim stolicama u hladu palme na Rivi i – poput mitskih sirena iz Odiseje – dozivaju zalutale putnike.

– Helo! Ju nid taksi? Taksi? No? Ajde, šetaj ti, rođo – su zvukovi koje proizvodi ovaj uslužni djelatnik dok biva aktivnom radnom snagom kojom nacija obara turističke rekorde.

Istovremeno, njegovo vozilo spremno priprema dobrodošlicu našim dragim gostima – stojeći u prekršaju. Naime, osim što nije smješten unutar mjesta za parkiranje, prednji dio srebrnog Volkswagen karavana je gotovo pola metra duboko u pješakom prijelazu pokraj glavne regionalne šetnice.

Iz nekog razloga – koji bi samo zagriženi ljubitelj krimi-literature mogao pravilno detektirati – "splitski" taksisti su gotovo uvijek iz Kaštela. Konkretno, vlasnik ovog na zebri, Miro K. iz Dalmatia Travela, je iz Novog. 

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Marin Prvan
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Pitamo dobro opušteni dvojac isplati li im se stvarno plaćati parking četiri eura po satu (ili 106 eura mjesečno), pošto nam njihova sjedeća aparatura s predumišljajem sugerira da dosta vremena provode "u leru".

– Vidi nas. Šta ti misliš je l‘ nan se isplati? – odgovaraju.

– Znači, lipo se diže, a? – kurjožasti smo.

– Prijo, sigurno neću tebi naplatit 20 eura vožnju do Bača pa da me još za to izbodeš nožen. Ako ti triba, pozvat ću ti Uber – objašnjava nam razgovorljiviji s početka teksta. 

– Oli je to tarifa za turiste? – čudimo se (kao).

– Tarifa? Koja tarifa? Tarife nema... Tarifa za njih je koliko ja kažen. Pa sad, oš-neš kume – pojašnjava nam ekvilibrijum ponude i potražnje ovaj prekaljeni poduzetnik.

Logika ovih hrvatskih turističkih djelatnika vam zvuči kao izvadak iz kodeksa neke dobro uigrane kriminalne organizacije? Očito ste gledali puno mafijaških filmova.

Pa postali ekspert po pitanju splitskih taksista.

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Marin Prvan Marin Prvan
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StoryEditorOCM
Splitoš-neš, kume

Plaćaju skupi parking, sjede u hladu na splitskoj Rivi i mame turiste: ‘Tarifa je koliko ja kažen...‘

Piše Marin Prvan
24. kolovoza 2023. - 11:22
25495285
Marin Prvan

Da je turizam, u svojoj najogoljenijoj formi – lišenoj lažnih osmjeha, generičkih legendi o gostoprimstvu XY naroda te proljeva o prodavanju doživljaja – često prvi rođak prostog pljačkanja bogatijih prolaznika (kroz destinaciju), ništa ne dočarava bolje od splitskih taksista.

Tako sjede njih dvojica na kamperskim stolicama u hladu palme na Rivi i – poput mitskih sirena iz Odiseje – dozivaju zalutale putnike.

– Helo! Ju nid taksi? Taksi? No? Ajde, šetaj ti, rođo – su zvukovi koje proizvodi ovaj uslužni djelatnik dok biva aktivnom radnom snagom kojom nacija obara turističke rekorde.

Istovremeno, njegovo vozilo spremno priprema dobrodošlicu našim dragim gostima – stojeći u prekršaju. Naime, osim što nije smješten unutar mjesta za parkiranje, prednji dio srebrnog Volkswagen karavana je gotovo pola metra duboko u pješakom prijelazu pokraj glavne regionalne šetnice.

Iz nekog razloga – koji bi samo zagriženi ljubitelj krimi-literature mogao pravilno detektirati – "splitski" taksisti su gotovo uvijek iz Kaštela. Konkretno, vlasnik ovog na zebri, Miro K. iz Dalmatia Travela, je iz Novog. 

image
Marin Prvan

Pitamo dobro opušteni dvojac isplati li im se stvarno plaćati parking četiri eura po satu (ili 106 eura mjesečno), pošto nam njihova sjedeća aparatura s predumišljajem sugerira da dosta vremena provode "u leru".

– Vidi nas. Šta ti misliš je l‘ nan se isplati? – odgovaraju.

– Znači, lipo se diže, a? – kurjožasti smo.

– Prijo, sigurno neću tebi naplatit 20 eura vožnju do Bača pa da me još za to izbodeš nožen. Ako ti triba, pozvat ću ti Uber – objašnjava nam razgovorljiviji s početka teksta. 

– Oli je to tarifa za turiste? – čudimo se (kao).

– Tarifa? Koja tarifa? Tarife nema... Tarifa za njih je koliko ja kažen. Pa sad, oš-neš kume – pojašnjava nam ekvilibrijum ponude i potražnje ovaj prekaljeni poduzetnik.

Logika ovih hrvatskih turističkih djelatnika vam zvuči kao izvadak iz kodeksa neke dobro uigrane kriminalne organizacije? Očito ste gledali puno mafijaških filmova.

Pa postali ekspert po pitanju splitskih taksista.

#RIVA#SPLIT#TAKSI
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14. svibanj 2024 09:09