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[title] => Uskoro će nam franzete pokrivati lica sve do vrhova zaštitne maske, a na ljeto razumno je očekivati pravi stampedo napaljene čeljadi
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Ne znam koji je soundtrack vašega čitanja, ali moja malenkost ove retke počinje pisati slušajući “San Francisco”. Naravno, ne u izvornoj verziji koju je pjevao Scott McKenzie, nego u onoj koju je interpretirao Mišo Kovač dok je još uvijek vagao hoće li ostati tapetar ili postati estradni umjetnik.
Ali što me je spopalo da se vratim neslužbenoj himni hipija iz ljeta ljubavi 1967.? Skromna procjena da bismo mogli uživati u reprizi toga slavnog ljeta, uspijemo li, dakako, obuzdati pandemiju prije Vele Gospe. Još uvijek ne shvaćate? Strpljenja, molim.
Za početak, razmislite o sljedećem... Najkasnije do svetoga Ante svaki će građanin ove zemlje, osim možda Feđe Klarića i nekolicine sličnih tvrdokornih skinheada, imati frizuru kao dijete cvijeće iz Height-Ashburyja.
Već tjednima nikome nad glavom nisu zazveckale škare, zadugo i neće, što znači da će nam uskoro franzete pokrivati lica sve do vrhova zaštitne maske. Ljudi koji su pažljivo održavali svoje cufove, uredno štucali svaki milimetar viška, već su zarasli u gustu makiju dlaka. Kako tjedni budu prolazili, slapovi vlasi prelijevat će im se poput nabujalih gorskih potoka ili vijoriti iznad glava kao zastave na gnjilome jugu.
Nažalost, ne samo njima, nego i meni. Štoviše, u mom je slučaju nevolja već počela. Nekidan sam s užasom shvatio da iz dana u dan sve više počinjem sličiti na Obrada Kosovca iz sedamdesetih godina. Ako ste premladi, pa za dotičnoga nikada niste čuli, ili ste prestari, pa ste već otišli na kvasinu i zaboravili na njega, predlažem da zaguglate to ime, potražite neku dovoljno staru crno-bijelu fotografiju dotičnog gospodina i sve ćete shvatiti. Da se ne bih i dalje uznemiravao licem što me svakoga jutra plaši u zrcalu, odlučio sam odustati od brijanja, čime bih svoj hipijevski image mogao lijepo ili barem dosljedno zaokružiti.
Već sada sažalijevam frizere i brijače. Jednom kad ova nevolja prođe, oni će morati raditi u tri smjene da bi udovoljili silnoj potražnji za njihovim uslugama. Radit će od zore do duboko u noć, krepani, debuli i s drhtavim rukama, pa se plašim da bi brojka građana koje su premoreni barbiri nehotice zaklali u konačnici mogla obilato nadmašiti i sâm broj žrtava korone.
Ali da se vratim nastupajućem ljetu koje ima lijepe šanse postati reprizom ljeta ljubavi. Neće građani samo stajlingom podsjećati na hipije; i stilom (ljubavnog) života slijedit će primjer čupavih pacifista koji ne bi ni mrava zgazili, ali bi rado nekoga povalili. Nakon dugih mjeseci u samici, odnosno, još gore, u tijesnoj ćeliji s cijelom obitelji, čovjeka, osobit mladog, počne mučiti koješta.
Prije svega, famozni erotski “neizdrž”. I jednom kad se opozove naredba o održavanju socijalne distance, razumno je očekivati pravi stampedo napaljene čeljadi jedno drugome u krilo. Baš kao u Mišinoj verziji pjesme iz izvornog ljeta ljubavi: “Vrijeme pobjedu slavi, lude misli u glavi, srce je isto, srce je istooo”.
Ako sam u pravu, onda bi cvrčci ovoga ljeta mogli dobiti bučnu konkurenciju u tisućama žena i muškaraca koji će stenjati kao da ih je netko skinuo s respiratora, premda im se neće događati ništa strašno, nego upravo suprotno, nešto jako lijepo.
A dok nam se ne dogodi ljeto ljubavi, preostaje nam izgurati ovo usrano proljeće. Prostačku riječ za ljupku kakicu nisam iskoristio kao figuru, nego u vrlo doslovnom smislu, jer sam kao šetač psa opazio da druge kolege šetači više ne čiste za svojim ljubimcima kao nekada. Valjda kontaju kako su ulice puste i kako ih nitko neće vidjeti budu li ignorirali brabonjke i kobase kojima je danas dekoriran svaki četvorni metar trotoara.•
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Ina FassbenderJednom kad ova nevolja prođe frizeri i brijači morat će raditi u tri smjene da bi udovoljili silnoj potražnji za njihovim uslugama AFP
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Ne znam koji je soundtrack vašega čitanja, ali moja malenkost ove retke počinje pisati slušajući “San Francisco”. Naravno, ne u izvornoj verziji koju je pjevao Scott McKenzie, nego u onoj koju je interpretirao Mišo Kovač dok je još uvijek vagao hoće li ostati tapetar ili postati estradni umjetnik.
Ali što me je spopalo da se vratim neslužbenoj himni hipija iz ljeta ljubavi 1967.? Skromna procjena da bismo mogli uživati u reprizi toga slavnog ljeta, uspijemo li, dakako, obuzdati pandemiju prije Vele Gospe. Još uvijek ne shvaćate? Strpljenja, molim.
Za početak, razmislite o sljedećem... Najkasnije do svetoga Ante svaki će građanin ove zemlje, osim možda Feđe Klarića i nekolicine sličnih tvrdokornih skinheada, imati frizuru kao dijete cvijeće iz Height-Ashburyja.
Već tjednima nikome nad glavom nisu zazveckale škare, zadugo i neće, što znači da će nam uskoro franzete pokrivati lica sve do vrhova zaštitne maske. Ljudi koji su pažljivo održavali svoje cufove, uredno štucali svaki milimetar viška, već su zarasli u gustu makiju dlaka. Kako tjedni budu prolazili, slapovi vlasi prelijevat će im se poput nabujalih gorskih potoka ili vijoriti iznad glava kao zastave na gnjilome jugu.
Nažalost, ne samo njima, nego i meni. Štoviše, u mom je slučaju nevolja već počela. Nekidan sam s užasom shvatio da iz dana u dan sve više počinjem sličiti na Obrada Kosovca iz sedamdesetih godina. Ako ste premladi, pa za dotičnoga nikada niste čuli, ili ste prestari, pa ste već otišli na kvasinu i zaboravili na njega, predlažem da zaguglate to ime, potražite neku dovoljno staru crno-bijelu fotografiju dotičnog gospodina i sve ćete shvatiti. Da se ne bih i dalje uznemiravao licem što me svakoga jutra plaši u zrcalu, odlučio sam odustati od brijanja, čime bih svoj hipijevski image mogao lijepo ili barem dosljedno zaokružiti.
Već sada sažalijevam frizere i brijače. Jednom kad ova nevolja prođe, oni će morati raditi u tri smjene da bi udovoljili silnoj potražnji za njihovim uslugama. Radit će od zore do duboko u noć, krepani, debuli i s drhtavim rukama, pa se plašim da bi brojka građana koje su premoreni barbiri nehotice zaklali u konačnici mogla obilato nadmašiti i sâm broj žrtava korone.
Ali da se vratim nastupajućem ljetu koje ima lijepe šanse postati reprizom ljeta ljubavi. Neće građani samo stajlingom podsjećati na hipije; i stilom (ljubavnog) života slijedit će primjer čupavih pacifista koji ne bi ni mrava zgazili, ali bi rado nekoga povalili. Nakon dugih mjeseci u samici, odnosno, još gore, u tijesnoj ćeliji s cijelom obitelji, čovjeka, osobit mladog, počne mučiti koješta.
Prije svega, famozni erotski “neizdrž”. I jednom kad se opozove naredba o održavanju socijalne distance, razumno je očekivati pravi stampedo napaljene čeljadi jedno drugome u krilo. Baš kao u Mišinoj verziji pjesme iz izvornog ljeta ljubavi: “Vrijeme pobjedu slavi, lude misli u glavi, srce je isto, srce je istooo”.
Ako sam u pravu, onda bi cvrčci ovoga ljeta mogli dobiti bučnu konkurenciju u tisućama žena i muškaraca koji će stenjati kao da ih je netko skinuo s respiratora, premda im se neće događati ništa strašno, nego upravo suprotno, nešto jako lijepo.
A dok nam se ne dogodi ljeto ljubavi, preostaje nam izgurati ovo usrano proljeće. Prostačku riječ za ljupku kakicu nisam iskoristio kao figuru, nego u vrlo doslovnom smislu, jer sam kao šetač psa opazio da druge kolege šetači više ne čiste za svojim ljubimcima kao nekada. Valjda kontaju kako su ulice puste i kako ih nitko neće vidjeti budu li ignorirali brabonjke i kobase kojima je danas dekoriran svaki četvorni metar trotoara.•
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Alberto Pizzoli
Plašim se da bi brojka građana koje su premoreni barbiri nehotice zaklali u konačnici mogla obilato nadmašiti i sâm broj žrtava korone AFP
Ina Fassbender
Jednom kad ova nevolja prođe frizeri i brijači morat će raditi u tri smjene da bi udovoljili silnoj potražnji za njihovim uslugama AFP
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14. svibanj 2024 12:33
