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Ponadali smo se da ćemo za jubilarnu 35. godišnjicu od prvog pojavljivanja Dolpha Lundgrena pred filmskim kamerama ("Pogled na ubojstvo" i "Rocky IV", 1985.) gledati neki njegov dobar film, ali dopalo nas je grozomorno "Ubrzanje" u režiji Michaela Merina i Daniela Zirillija.

To je vjerojatno najgori film u kojem se pojavljuje Lundgren uz također prošlogodišnji "Preživjeti noć", pogledan i recenziran početkom ove godine. Namjerno piše "najgori film u kojem se pojavljuje Lundgren", ne "najgori Lundgrenov film". Jer, "Acceleration" je Lundgrenov film kao što su recentne direktno-na-video kante Brucea Willisa njegove.

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FILM: Acceleration; akcijski triler; SAD, 2019. REŽIJA: Michael Merino i Daniel Zirilli ULOGE: Natalie Burn, Dolph Lundgren OCJENA: *

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On je ovdje sporedna uloga na "willisovskom" autopilotu, istaknut na plakatu kao najveća faca u glumačkoj ekipi koju čine i kultni Danny Trejo ("Machete"), Sean Patrick Flannery ("Mladi Indiana Jones"), te MMA-ovac Quinton "Rampage" Jackson ("A-Team") i UFC-ovac Chuck Liddell. Glavna uloga pripada Natalie Burn i ona vodi glavnu akcijsku riječ, slično "Hard Night Falling", makar nije borilački razgovjetna poput Gine Carano ili je barem redatelji ne znaju tako posnimiti.

Činilo se, doduše, da će Lundgren biti glavni kad se u uvodu naoruža i kaže "Let's do this!" ("Obavimo ovo!"), kao da odaje počast starom drugaru Stalloneu i njegovu "Let's do it!" iz "Tango&Cash", ali to je šarena laža. Iako, 62-godišnji Lundgren je još uvijek "fit", nedavno je postao vlasnik 4. dana u kyokunshin karateu i svako malo ga Stallone pohvali na svom Instagramu, samo je očito postao umoran od ovako loših filmova pa mu se više ne da, odnosno odrađuje "preko neke stvari" posao za honorar.

Šteta budući da je Lundgrenov akcić nekoć bio pouzdana receptura žanrovske ("B") kinematografije. Kad Flanneryjev negativac Kane opali "tarantinovski" monolog o kolaču (piti) od limuna, "kulinarskom ekvivalentu vjernosti", iz toga kao da se može iščitati priča o Lundgrenu i njegovim akcijskim filmovima. "Integritet se nikad ne mijenja. Uvijek ima isti okus. Recept se nikad ne mijenja, nijednom, uvijek je isti. Svi se sastojci pojave svaki put kad zatreba u točnoj količini", govori Kane.

Nekad su, u osamdesetima i devedesetima, Lundgrenovi filmovi imali nepromijenjeni integritet/recept i isti okus, sa sastojcima u točnoj količini koliko je potrebno za solidan ili bar korektan, tj. gledljiv akcić ("Red Scorpion", "Punisher", "Dark Angel", "Showdown In Little Tokyo", "Universal Soldier", "Army Of One"/"Joshua Tree", "Blackjack"...).

Danas su Lundgrenovi "direktno-na-video" filmovi poput "Ubrzanja" bez okusa i mirisa. Ipak, zbog akcijskog ekvivalenta vjernosti, da parafraziramo Kanea, iz nekadašnje lojalnosti prema Lundgrenu još uvijek pogledamo nešto njegovo novo a la "Acceleration" kad nam dođe pod ruku ili u ovom slučaju u "online" videoteku, premda redovito zažalimo i poželimo se vratiti nečem starijem "lundgrenovskom".

Više vrijedi pet minuta nedavno obnovljenog "Crvenog škorpiona" ili "Obračuna u Malom Tokiju", nego svih 85 "Ubrzanja". Akcija je neuzbudljiva, generička i traljava, gluma (izuzev Flanneryja) ukočena. Sve je naizgled odigrano bez repeticije, tj. ponavljanja kadra, kao da film režira Ed Wood.

"Cut, perfect" i idemo dalje, s tim da Merinov i Zirillijev "Acceleration" nema umjetničku vrijednost Woodova "Plan 9 From Outer Space", stiliziran kao akcijska sapunica u kojoj od akcije jedva da ima "a", što je najveći problem. Tko želi pravu akciju, na krivoj je adresi, posebice ako očekuje da će Lundgren ukrstiti šake s Trejom.

Ovo je već drugi put da se Trejo nalazi u istom filmu s jednom akcijskom legendom nakon "Machetea" (Steven Seagal), ali filmofili su zakinuti za njihov duel. Merin i Zirilli nisu dali priliku za revanš pred kamerama ni Jacksonu i Lidellu, ali su potonjeg stavili nasuprot Lundgrena u jednoj od valjda najgore režiranih i koreografiranih akcijskih scena borbe u povijesti, tromoj do bola i nenamjerno lošoj.

"Ubrzanje" je sporo i nežestoko. Za film s takvim naslovom čovjek bi očekivao nesuđeni "Crank 3", ali "Acceleration" jedva da ubacuje u prvu brzinu, kamoli da doseže petu ili šestu, potpuni akceleracijski "overdrive". Jedino ubrzanje koje može dosegnuti jest ono "fast forward" na daljinskom upravljaču.

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Balerina i kickboxerica

Natalie Burn je zaočela karijeru kao balerina da bi se prebacila na kickboxing. Potencijal je pokazala u "Plaćenicima 3", ali još ga nije potvrdila. Lundgren i Trejo su već glumili zajedno u nešto boljem filmu "4Got10".

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Ponadali smo se da ćemo za jubilarnu 35. godišnjicu od prvog pojavljivanja Dolpha Lundgrena pred filmskim kamerama ("Pogled na ubojstvo" i "Rocky IV", 1985.) gledati neki njegov dobar film, ali dopalo nas je grozomorno "Ubrzanje" u režiji Michaela Merina i Daniela Zirillija.

To je vjerojatno najgori film u kojem se pojavljuje Lundgren uz također prošlogodišnji "Preživjeti noć", pogledan i recenziran početkom ove godine. Namjerno piše "najgori film u kojem se pojavljuje Lundgren", ne "najgori Lundgrenov film". Jer, "Acceleration" je Lundgrenov film kao što su recentne direktno-na-video kante Brucea Willisa njegove.

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FILM: Acceleration; akcijski triler; SAD, 2019. REŽIJA: Michael Merino i Daniel Zirilli ULOGE: Natalie Burn, Dolph Lundgren OCJENA: *

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On je ovdje sporedna uloga na "willisovskom" autopilotu, istaknut na plakatu kao najveća faca u glumačkoj ekipi koju čine i kultni Danny Trejo ("Machete"), Sean Patrick Flannery ("Mladi Indiana Jones"), te MMA-ovac Quinton "Rampage" Jackson ("A-Team") i UFC-ovac Chuck Liddell. Glavna uloga pripada Natalie Burn i ona vodi glavnu akcijsku riječ, slično "Hard Night Falling", makar nije borilački razgovjetna poput Gine Carano ili je barem redatelji ne znaju tako posnimiti.

Činilo se, doduše, da će Lundgren biti glavni kad se u uvodu naoruža i kaže "Let's do this!" ("Obavimo ovo!"), kao da odaje počast starom drugaru Stalloneu i njegovu "Let's do it!" iz "Tango&Cash", ali to je šarena laža. Iako, 62-godišnji Lundgren je još uvijek "fit", nedavno je postao vlasnik 4. dana u kyokunshin karateu i svako malo ga Stallone pohvali na svom Instagramu, samo je očito postao umoran od ovako loših filmova pa mu se više ne da, odnosno odrađuje "preko neke stvari" posao za honorar.

Šteta budući da je Lundgrenov akcić nekoć bio pouzdana receptura žanrovske ("B") kinematografije. Kad Flanneryjev negativac Kane opali "tarantinovski" monolog o kolaču (piti) od limuna, "kulinarskom ekvivalentu vjernosti", iz toga kao da se može iščitati priča o Lundgrenu i njegovim akcijskim filmovima. "Integritet se nikad ne mijenja. Uvijek ima isti okus. Recept se nikad ne mijenja, nijednom, uvijek je isti. Svi se sastojci pojave svaki put kad zatreba u točnoj količini", govori Kane.

Nekad su, u osamdesetima i devedesetima, Lundgrenovi filmovi imali nepromijenjeni integritet/recept i isti okus, sa sastojcima u točnoj količini koliko je potrebno za solidan ili bar korektan, tj. gledljiv akcić ("Red Scorpion", "Punisher", "Dark Angel", "Showdown In Little Tokyo", "Universal Soldier", "Army Of One"/"Joshua Tree", "Blackjack"...).

Danas su Lundgrenovi "direktno-na-video" filmovi poput "Ubrzanja" bez okusa i mirisa. Ipak, zbog akcijskog ekvivalenta vjernosti, da parafraziramo Kanea, iz nekadašnje lojalnosti prema Lundgrenu još uvijek pogledamo nešto njegovo novo a la "Acceleration" kad nam dođe pod ruku ili u ovom slučaju u "online" videoteku, premda redovito zažalimo i poželimo se vratiti nečem starijem "lundgrenovskom".

Više vrijedi pet minuta nedavno obnovljenog "Crvenog škorpiona" ili "Obračuna u Malom Tokiju", nego svih 85 "Ubrzanja". Akcija je neuzbudljiva, generička i traljava, gluma (izuzev Flanneryja) ukočena. Sve je naizgled odigrano bez repeticije, tj. ponavljanja kadra, kao da film režira Ed Wood.

"Cut, perfect" i idemo dalje, s tim da Merinov i Zirillijev "Acceleration" nema umjetničku vrijednost Woodova "Plan 9 From Outer Space", stiliziran kao akcijska sapunica u kojoj od akcije jedva da ima "a", što je najveći problem. Tko želi pravu akciju, na krivoj je adresi, posebice ako očekuje da će Lundgren ukrstiti šake s Trejom.

Ovo je već drugi put da se Trejo nalazi u istom filmu s jednom akcijskom legendom nakon "Machetea" (Steven Seagal), ali filmofili su zakinuti za njihov duel. Merin i Zirilli nisu dali priliku za revanš pred kamerama ni Jacksonu i Lidellu, ali su potonjeg stavili nasuprot Lundgrena u jednoj od valjda najgore režiranih i koreografiranih akcijskih scena borbe u povijesti, tromoj do bola i nenamjerno lošoj.

"Ubrzanje" je sporo i nežestoko. Za film s takvim naslovom čovjek bi očekivao nesuđeni "Crank 3", ali "Acceleration" jedva da ubacuje u prvu brzinu, kamoli da doseže petu ili šestu, potpuni akceleracijski "overdrive". Jedino ubrzanje koje može dosegnuti jest ono "fast forward" na daljinskom upravljaču.

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Balerina i kickboxerica

Natalie Burn je zaočela karijeru kao balerina da bi se prebacila na kickboxing. Potencijal je pokazala u "Plaćenicima 3", ali još ga nije potvrdila. Lundgren i Trejo su već glumili zajedno u nešto boljem filmu "4Got10".

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Film & TVCINEMARK U KUĆNOM KINU

UBRZANJE (2019.) Ivan Drago protiv Machetea? Taj film nećete gledati

Piše Marko Njegić
21. rujna 2020. - 23:22
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Ponadali smo se da ćemo za jubilarnu 35. godišnjicu od prvog pojavljivanja Dolpha Lundgrena pred filmskim kamerama ("Pogled na ubojstvo" i "Rocky IV", 1985.) gledati neki njegov dobar film, ali dopalo nas je grozomorno "Ubrzanje" u režiji Michaela Merina i Daniela Zirillija.

To je vjerojatno najgori film u kojem se pojavljuje Lundgren uz također prošlogodišnji "Preživjeti noć", pogledan i recenziran početkom ove godine. Namjerno piše "najgori film u kojem se pojavljuje Lundgren", ne "najgori Lundgrenov film". Jer, "Acceleration" je Lundgrenov film kao što su recentne direktno-na-video kante Brucea Willisa njegove.

On je ovdje sporedna uloga na "willisovskom" autopilotu, istaknut na plakatu kao najveća faca u glumačkoj ekipi koju čine i kultni Danny Trejo ("Machete"), Sean...

#CINEMARK#CINEMARK U KUĆNOM KINU#AKCIJSKIFILMOVI#DOLPH LUNDGREN
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16. svibanj 2024 08:19