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Nemam ništa protiv SMS poruka. Istina, nemam uvijek vremena nadaleko i naširoko nešto objašnjavat pa radije zovem, ali ako su 2-3 rečenice, a hladim jaja i blejim u telku, onda može. Uvijek se odma javim sugovorniku, barem s OK. A s nekih mobitela nema ni pisma ni pozdrava. Ne da im se pisat, nemaju para za zvanje, a ti kako hoćeš. Lakše mi je dobit šećernu bolest nego od takvog lika poruku. Kad krene vrijeme od čestitanja blagdana, mogu prožvakat jedino najjednostavnije, tipa Sretno! Ono kako rudarima nazdravljaju prije ulaska u rudnik. Mislim, što ti je život neko kopanje rudnika. Alergična sam na zvijezde, Mjesec, vatromet, zlatnike, Djeda Mraza, slapove suza i sav onaj kič kojim nas obasipaju u tim prigodama. Sjećam se ovoga: Božić je otkazan i to tvojom krivnjom. Reko si Djedu Božićnjaku da si ove godine bio dobar i on je umro od smijeha. Ili ovoga: Doletio sam u zavoj, saonice su se prevrnule, darovi su pošli u kua, Rufolf je krepo, a ostali jeleni spiždili su se u prvu birtiju pa me ne čekaj! Tvoj Djed Mraz. S druge strane, znam jednog ljenguza koji šalje SNG!, što bi trebalo značit Sretna Nova godina. Čovječe, lijeno mu je napisat tri riječi! A znam za jednoga s pola mozga kojemu od srca čestitaš Božić, a on odgovori – Dobro! Kao, primio sam na znanje i što ćemo sada s tim?

Pa sam mu sljedeći put poslala ovakvu poruku: PU dubrovačko-neretvanska obavještava vas da vam brišu ona dva kaznena boda. Ono što ste onomad puhali prometnom policajcu nije bio alkotest. Onda, ježim se od rime u SMS porukama. I to s katastrofalnim pravopisom. Pa kaže: Idem se utopiti u WC šolji, možda je život u hovnima bolji, možda tamo pronađem sreću, al ni jedno hovno ko tebe voljeti neću. Ili još: Imam jedan život i tebi bih ga dala; imam jedno srce i njega bih ti dala; ali da imam mozak, ne bih ovako šrala. I najveći biser: Otkad su jaja u prahu, sve su žene svijeta u velikom strahu, a dio njih se pita - hoće li uskoro u prahu biti i kita? Tu su i one poruke koje bismo mogli svrstati u upozorenja i obavijesti. Obavijest iz HT-a: Poštovani korisniče, od danas se računi naplaćuju prema dužini spolnog organa, koliki kua, toliki račun. A tebi od danas ne naplaćujemo ništa.

Zamolba iz tvrtke Bicikl d.o.o.: Molim vas da nam u slučaju vaše skore smrti date dopuštenje da vas zakopamo s guzicom prema vani zbog nedostatka parkirnih mjesta za bicikle. Upozorenje s Marsa: Adio, Mare, ja sam vanzemljac i živim u tvom mobitelu. To što stišćeš su moja jaja. Sudeći po tvom osmijehu, i tebi je drago. Zato nastavi. Za kraj sam ostavila Muja. Tu mi ne smeta ni rima, ni kič, ni pravopis. Mujo šalje poruku Fati: Što je to u tvojim venama što me šalje drugim ženama? Ona odgovara: Isto što i u tvojim mudima što me tjera drugim ljudima. I dok ovo pišem, iznebuha mi stigne poruka od mojih najmilijih i najvoljenijih koji točno znaju od kakvih mi se poruka povraća: Kad gledam nebo, vidim tebe. Kad gledam more, vidim tebe. Kad gledam sunce, vidim tebe. Kad gledam zvijezde, vidim tebe. Hebo te, makni se više!

Maja

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Profesorica Hrvatskog jezika i književnosti u TUŠ Maja Milošević

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Profesorica Hrvatskog jezika i književnosti u TUŠ Maja Milošević

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Nemam ništa protiv SMS poruka. Istina, nemam uvijek vremena nadaleko i naširoko nešto objašnjavat pa radije zovem, ali ako su 2-3 rečenice, a hladim jaja i blejim u telku, onda može. Uvijek se odma javim sugovorniku, barem s OK. A s nekih mobitela nema ni pisma ni pozdrava. Ne da im se pisat, nemaju para za zvanje, a ti kako hoćeš. Lakše mi je dobit šećernu bolest nego od takvog lika poruku. Kad krene vrijeme od čestitanja blagdana, mogu prožvakat jedino najjednostavnije, tipa Sretno! Ono kako rudarima nazdravljaju prije ulaska u rudnik. Mislim, što ti je život neko kopanje rudnika. Alergična sam na zvijezde, Mjesec, vatromet, zlatnike, Djeda Mraza, slapove suza i sav onaj kič kojim nas obasipaju u tim prigodama. Sjećam se ovoga: Božić je otkazan i to tvojom krivnjom. Reko si Djedu Božićnjaku da si ove godine bio dobar i on je umro od smijeha. Ili ovoga: Doletio sam u zavoj, saonice su se prevrnule, darovi su pošli u kua, Rufolf je krepo, a ostali jeleni spiždili su se u prvu birtiju pa me ne čekaj! Tvoj Djed Mraz. S druge strane, znam jednog ljenguza koji šalje SNG!, što bi trebalo značit Sretna Nova godina. Čovječe, lijeno mu je napisat tri riječi! A znam za jednoga s pola mozga kojemu od srca čestitaš Božić, a on odgovori – Dobro! Kao, primio sam na znanje i što ćemo sada s tim?

Pa sam mu sljedeći put poslala ovakvu poruku: PU dubrovačko-neretvanska obavještava vas da vam brišu ona dva kaznena boda. Ono što ste onomad puhali prometnom policajcu nije bio alkotest. Onda, ježim se od rime u SMS porukama. I to s katastrofalnim pravopisom. Pa kaže: Idem se utopiti u WC šolji, možda je život u hovnima bolji, možda tamo pronađem sreću, al ni jedno hovno ko tebe voljeti neću. Ili još: Imam jedan život i tebi bih ga dala; imam jedno srce i njega bih ti dala; ali da imam mozak, ne bih ovako šrala. I najveći biser: Otkad su jaja u prahu, sve su žene svijeta u velikom strahu, a dio njih se pita - hoće li uskoro u prahu biti i kita? Tu su i one poruke koje bismo mogli svrstati u upozorenja i obavijesti. Obavijest iz HT-a: Poštovani korisniče, od danas se računi naplaćuju prema dužini spolnog organa, koliki kua, toliki račun. A tebi od danas ne naplaćujemo ništa.

Zamolba iz tvrtke Bicikl d.o.o.: Molim vas da nam u slučaju vaše skore smrti date dopuštenje da vas zakopamo s guzicom prema vani zbog nedostatka parkirnih mjesta za bicikle. Upozorenje s Marsa: Adio, Mare, ja sam vanzemljac i živim u tvom mobitelu. To što stišćeš su moja jaja. Sudeći po tvom osmijehu, i tebi je drago. Zato nastavi. Za kraj sam ostavila Muja. Tu mi ne smeta ni rima, ni kič, ni pravopis. Mujo šalje poruku Fati: Što je to u tvojim venama što me šalje drugim ženama? Ona odgovara: Isto što i u tvojim mudima što me tjera drugim ljudima. I dok ovo pišem, iznebuha mi stigne poruka od mojih najmilijih i najvoljenijih koji točno znaju od kakvih mi se poruka povraća: Kad gledam nebo, vidim tebe. Kad gledam more, vidim tebe. Kad gledam sunce, vidim tebe. Kad gledam zvijezde, vidim tebe. Hebo te, makni se više!

Maja

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Tonči Plazibat/ Cropix
Tonči Plazibat/ Cropix

Profesorica Hrvatskog jezika i književnosti u TUŠ Maja Milošević
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MišljenjaMaštela

Nemam ništa protiv SMS poruka, ali......

Piše Maja Milošević
10. studenog 2023. - 12:24
&lt;p&gt;Profesorica Hrvatskog jezika i književnosti u TUŠ Maja Milošević&lt;/p&gt;
Profesorica Hrvatskog jezika i književnosti u TUŠ Maja MiloševićTonči Plazibat/ Cropix

Nemam ništa protiv SMS poruka. Istina, nemam uvijek vremena nadaleko i naširoko nešto objašnjavat pa radije zovem, ali ako su 2-3 rečenice, a hladim jaja i blejim u telku, onda može. Uvijek se odma javim sugovorniku, barem s OK. A s nekih mobitela nema ni pisma ni pozdrava. Ne da im se pisat, nemaju para za zvanje, a ti kako hoćeš. Lakše mi je dobit šećernu bolest nego od takvog lika poruku. Kad krene vrijeme od čestitanja blagdana, mogu prožvakat jedino najjednostavnije, tipa Sretno! Ono kako rudarima nazdravljaju prije ulaska u rudnik. Mislim, što ti je život neko kopanje rudnika. Alergična sam na zvijezde, Mjesec, vatromet, zlatnike, Djeda Mraza, slapove suza i sav onaj kič kojim nas obasipaju u tim prigodama. Sjećam se ovoga: Božić je otkazan i to tvojom krivnjom. Reko si Djedu Božićnjaku da si ove godine bio dobar i on je umro od smijeha. Ili ovoga: Doletio sam u zavoj, saonice su se prevrnule, darovi su pošli u kua, Rufolf je krepo, a ostali jeleni spiždili su se u prvu birtiju pa me ne čekaj! Tvoj Djed Mraz. S druge strane, znam jednog ljenguza koji šalje SNG!, što bi trebalo značit Sretna Nova godina. Čovječe, lijeno mu je napisat tri riječi! A znam za jednoga s pola mozga kojemu od srca čestitaš Božić, a on odgovori – Dobro! Kao, primio sam na znanje i što ćemo sada s tim?

Pa sam mu sljedeći put poslala ovakvu poruku: PU dubrovačko-neretvanska obavještava vas da vam brišu ona dva kaznena boda. Ono što ste onomad puhali prometnom policajcu nije bio alkotest. Onda, ježim se od rime u SMS porukama. I to s katastrofalnim pravopisom. Pa kaže: Idem se utopiti u WC šolji, možda je život u hovnima bolji, možda tamo pronađem sreću, al ni jedno hovno ko tebe voljeti neću. Ili još: Imam jedan život i tebi bih ga dala; imam jedno srce i njega bih ti dala; ali da imam mozak, ne bih ovako šrala. I najveći biser: Otkad su jaja u prahu, sve su žene svijeta u velikom strahu, a dio njih se pita - hoće li uskoro u prahu biti i kita? Tu su i one poruke koje bismo mogli svrstati u upozorenja i obavijesti. Obavijest iz HT-a: Poštovani korisniče, od danas se računi naplaćuju prema dužini spolnog organa, koliki kua, toliki račun. A tebi od danas ne naplaćujemo ništa.

Zamolba iz tvrtke Bicikl d.o.o.: Molim vas da nam u slučaju vaše skore smrti date dopuštenje da vas zakopamo s guzicom prema vani zbog nedostatka parkirnih mjesta za bicikle. Upozorenje s Marsa: Adio, Mare, ja sam vanzemljac i živim u tvom mobitelu. To što stišćeš su moja jaja. Sudeći po tvom osmijehu, i tebi je drago. Zato nastavi. Za kraj sam ostavila Muja. Tu mi ne smeta ni rima, ni kič, ni pravopis. Mujo šalje poruku Fati: Što je to u tvojim venama što me šalje drugim ženama? Ona odgovara: Isto što i u tvojim mudima što me tjera drugim ljudima. I dok ovo pišem, iznebuha mi stigne poruka od mojih najmilijih i najvoljenijih koji točno znaju od kakvih mi se poruka povraća: Kad gledam nebo, vidim tebe. Kad gledam more, vidim tebe. Kad gledam sunce, vidim tebe. Kad gledam zvijezde, vidim tebe. Hebo te, makni se više!

Maja

#MAŠTELA#MAJA MILOŠEVIĆ
11. svibanj 2024 14:07